Instajournal: The out-of-towners

Once French Quarter Fest hits, so too does tourist fest. For the next couple months, curious, out-of-town souls will trek the cityscape. NolaVie recently ran a list of comments you’d never hear a true New Orleanian say. But what about the foreigners? What would you see a NOLA out-of-towner do?

Don’t get me wrong — we love having them here. However, as much as out-of-towners may enjoy brunching Elizabeth’s, boozing at Cooter’s and baring it all at the Country Club, if you’re a local, you can always spot ’em.

You know you’ve spotted a New Orleans tourist when:

Subject doesn’t realize that NOLA “1 o’clock” actually translates to “when I feel like showing up o’clock.”

Subject hops on horse and carriage. Asks for route map.

Subject’s dress facilitates amoeba functions.

Those functions are tie-dyed.

Subject’s drinks resemble a bag of Skittles.

Selfies at the French Market.

Selfies at Jackson Square.

Subject substitutes a fish bowl for a go-cup.

Subject needs a sign that reads “big ass beers” to affirm that its beer is, in fact, big.

One word: Ponchos.

Subject reenacts Noah’s Arc via segway.

Or pedicab caravan.

Subject cannot handle day drinking. Not. At. All.