Editor’s Note: To get you in the holiday spirit, we will be running holiday articles up until the big days! Perhaps you’re sick of singing the same old Christmas tunes and hearing them on 101.9, and pretty much every public space everwhere, so here we have Bettye Anding’s new verses for “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” to spice up an oldie but a goodie. This piece was originally published on NolaVie on December 24, 2014.
To be sung to the tune of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”:
Voices buzz! Are you listening?
In the aisles, lights are glistening;
I’m weary tonight, I must look a sight,
Walking in the mall on Christmas Eve.In awhile, I’ll be greeting
Guests who’ve come for the eating
Of holiday gumbo; I can’t be slow,
Walking in the the mall on Christmas Eve.Every year, I say never!
I can’t do this forever,
Too old to shop, just about to drop,
Walking in the mall on Christmas Eve.It’s a shame, I’ve not bought
One small gift I’m sure I ought,
Must get it right now, no matter how,
Walking in the mall on Christmas Eve.In the distance I can see a necktie,
Looks exactly right for Cousin Mike.
He’ll say, “How’d you know?” and I’ll say, “Oh, fie!
It’s easy just to figure what you’d like.”Later on, I’ll conspire
As I dream by the fire
To face unafraid new plans that I’ve made
Not to step in any mall on Christmas Eve.
There you have it — in imperfect rhythm and rhyme — my least favorite things about the holidays. I’ll have a Merry Christmas, though, and I wish you all one, too.