New Orleans by Segway: Seeing the city with a tourist’s eye

By Christian Brandt
NolaVie Contributor

Like most people, I don’t want to stand out as a tourist.

I think I can safely say that my relationship with the tourists roaming the streets outside my French Quarter apartment lies toward the negative end of the love-hate continuum. For that reason, I try to not look like a tourist when I travel. I wear normal clothes (read: no fannypacks), and try not to do touristy things (read: no tour groups).

But here’s the catch-22: Tourism is one of the driving industries of New Orleans, and most of the Quarter thrives on business from tourists. I may love to hate them, but tourists are crucial to the economy of New Orleans.

So I recently made a foray into the dreaded realm of tourism: My sister, Carolyn, and I took a Segway tour of downtown New Orleans. It was probably the most touristy thing I have ever done (and probably ever will do) in my life.

Don’t get me wrong — I’ve always wanted to ride a Segway, but never had the opportunity (or the money). So when I was asked to try out the tour for NolaVie, I jumped on it. I’ve always thought that traveling by Segway — those odd-looking, two-wheeled personal transportation machines — would be awesome. For people who have watched “Arrested Development” (I am a fanatic), you can’t think of Segways without thinking of GOB, who would climb up mounds of dirt (and pretty much anything else, too) on his.

You definitely cannot do that on a Segway. We even asked our guide if it was possible, and she said no, unless maybe you had a special off-road Segway (which may or may not even exist). Regardless, you can’t even ride over a curb without throwing off the balance, so driving over mounds of dirt would be impossible. So much for reality in TV.

Our tour with Segway New Orleans started at 2 p.m. on a sunny Thursday afternoon. We were the only ones on it, which I suppose was nice, but it made it a little awkward, too. The 11 a.m. tour had sold out, so the crowd is not always this thin. The tour is offered twice a day and can have as many as 20 people on it, including the guide. Locals get $10 off the $70 price for a two-hour city tour. The office is located on Conti Street, close to Decatur, in a little hole-in-the-wall ex-apartment. It’s easy to miss, so make sure you know the address before you go.

The first order of business was a lesson in Segway riding by our tour guide, Dawn. She’s originally from Louisville, Kentucky, and, like many transplants, moved to New Orleans after falling in love with the city over 10 years’ worth of visits. Dawn was one of the best tour guides for anything I’ve ever had, and she made learning to ride the Segway super easy.

The Segway is powered by a gyroscope, which reacts to your body movements, which is so Zen (kidding). Riding a Segway is sort of like riding a roller coaster. It’s hard to explain what it feels like, but the same feeling you get when you step on the ground after skiing or rollerblading also happens after riding a Segway. I was a little nervous at first, because the roads in New Orleans are littered with potholes. Also, the drivers in New Orleans are wack, which makes it that much more interesting.